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Friday, June 13, 2008 Volume 1, Issue 45
This week ...

Featured Funny

Words of Wisdom

Wisdom from the Word

Media Moment

Proposed Point (and click)



Sunday is Father's Day, and I can hardly wait.



A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed.

It was addressed, DAD

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice-even with all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight Motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion dad, she's pregnant and Joan said that we will be very happy.

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your loving son,
Jon

PS - Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tyler's house. My report card is in my desk drawer. Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life. Call me when it's safe to come home .
 

 
A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?"

The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!"

While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out.

The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"
 

 
Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path.

Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait."

Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait."

About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman.

The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her."

"No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either."

"Why not?" asked the son.

"Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."



"A wise son brings joy to his father"
~ Proverbs 10:1 (NIV)

"When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon,
'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered,
'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'"
~ Jerry Lewis
 

 
I had the privelege of presenting my witness and a challenge to the men of the Southern Territory at last weekend's Holiness Congress.   I have been asked by a few folks for the text.   In response to that, I have copied my talk below.   I will be editing (and adding to) it and posting it on my mycorps.org blog in the very near future.


 
Five Minutes

As I was preparing for this time, my wife said, "It's only five minutes."  And went on to say, "It's no big deal."

All too often, we are asked to take on a task that's "only five minutes…no big deal."   Even more often, we look at what we are asked to do as "only five minutes…no big deal."   We neglect Paul's admonishment: "….to do it all for the glory of God"

Men are often quick to diminish or look down upon the things God has called us to do.   After all, "it's no big deal."   WRONG!   Terribly wrong!   When we are living in God's light, ALL our work is God's work and THAT'S a big deal to be sure.

My own "five minutes" started almost from birth.   I'm a seventh generation Salvationist, and I can't remember when The Salvation Army wasn't a major part of my life.  Collecting at our local horse track, standing beside my mother at the kettle during the Christmas season…until I was old enough to stand on my own—a whopping 12; fun outings with YPL and our Scout troop; YP Councils and Camp, and longing to work camp staff—they were cool.   And finding my savior on the back row of the Chapel in Weirton, West Virginia.

On a warm Sunday evening in the summer of 1984 then Captain Joyce Michels bent down beside me as I wrestled with the Holy Spirit and His conviction.   She said, 'let's just go down to the mercy seat and talk there, it's no…big…deal, we can just talk."  But that wasn't the plan, not in her mind or in God's.  It was a Big Deal, and Christ took control of my life that evening.

Oh, I would love to say that God has been in the driver's seat every since, but that would be a lie and too many folks sitting in the audience right now could tell too many stories that would directly contradict it—but remember if you tell on me, you'll incriminate yourself.   Besides, God has already forgiven and forgotten about my life without Him—its BC...before Christ.

Over the past several years, my relationship with God has changed….well, better said, I've changed to better align with the relationship God has with me.   As my faith has grown, so has my knowledge, and so has what I notice and how I interpret what I notice.   All, I hope, through the prism of Christ's blood.

One thing I've noticed is how the role of the men of the church has changed.   In my memory the men of the Corps were entirely responsible for the physical plant—they cut the grass, painted what needed painting, changed air filters, and did whatever else they could apply tools to—especially if they were power tools.   They also took an active role in the leadership of the congregation.   In my case, not too many men took a turn behind the pulpit for any reason, but they still led.

As I look around now, this is no longer the case. 

As times have changed—for good and for bad—men have been unable to find their place or their role in today's corps.   Often times, men feel unused and relegated to the dominos table.

I'm not here to place blame or point fingers, there's plenty of blame to go around, and there are plenty of instances where no blame can be found—times have changed, and in many cases it seems we've been left behind.   But it doesn't have to be that way.

God has a plan for you—"So…whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." You don't have to be Corps Sergeant-Major to lead.   Christ called us to follow His example: one of quite, servant leadership.

When we view our calling as glorifying God, it goes from "It's no big deal" to "there's nothing more important."   It goes from "It's only five minutes" to a special commune with your Savior.

Every man of God is called to be a leader…we lead as our master led, by serving the Father, along with our brothers and sisters.

Each follower has a God-given duty laid upon their heart.   I think we ignore it, or avoid it because it doesn't seem important enough, or glamorous enough; "It's no big deal"; "It's only five minutes."

I challenge you to take the God inspired task on your heart and do it—even now I bet you know what it is.   And recognize that "all you do is for the glory of God."

They say: "It's no big deal," and I say WRONG.   It is a big deal.  It's as big as God, and I've got to do it…after all, it'll only take five minutes.

Thank you and God bless you!


 




When I think of fatherhood the person I think of first is Bill Cosby.   If you have not seen/heard his Himself show in a while you really are missing something.  I had not heard it in years, and when I was flipping channels trying to get my youngest to sleep and found it.   I can tell you without a doubt, it is much funnier when you have kids, and it was darn funny before.
 
Here is a link to the video (you can buy it an amazon cheap) and a link to an MP3 player with three of his best "fatherhood" bits playing on it.   Enjoy--I did!


Click Here to go to the MP3 Player...




 
Still in "Father's Day mode", I found this site sponsored by the Massachusetts Children's Trust Fund.  I admit it isn't dedicated soley to fathers or fatherhood, but there is still a ton of great information on it.   I was particularly fond of the "Season Idea" link.

 
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