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 Summer: a
time of exploration, excitement, and enchantment. Don't let
age, and society's view of proper attitudes for your age, rob you of
joy of summer along with all doors and windows it opens.
And they say Math is constant...
1. Teaching Math In 1950 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? 2. Teaching Math In 1960 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit? 3. Teaching Math In 1970 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit? 4. Teaching Math In 1980 A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20. 5. Teaching Math In 1990 A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong answers.) 6. Teaching Math In 2007 Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la producciones es $80.
"The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be."
~ Socrates Of course, it is also rumored that shortly after this, Socrates was heard to say: "I drank what?!?"
In Job 9:27 we read, :If I say, 'I will forget my complaint, I will change my expression, and smile'." We all have days when we feel overwhelmed with life's many (often little) problems. However complaining about then doesn't change a thing! So why not smile instead of frown? As the old saying goes: "Smile and the whole world smiles with you, frown and you frown along." In Psalm 126: 2 & 3, we find these uplifting words: "Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy. Then it was said among the nations, 'The LORD has done great things for them.' 3 The LORD has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy." In deed, the Lord has done great and miraculous things for you and me. Christ's joy is ours to use in full and pass along. With that in mind, let me pass along a few happy and funny things that were actually found on Church Marquees*: The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.
Under same management for over 2000 years! Soul food served here. Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk! Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church. Don't give up. Moses was once a basket case. Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What's yours? Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due. Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place! Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible. It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees. What part of "Thou Shalt Not" don't you understand? A clear conscience makes a soft pillow. The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday. Never give the devil a ride. He will always want to drive. Can't Sleep? Try counting your blessings. Forbidden fruit creates many jams. Christians, keep the faith...but not from others! Satan subtracts and divides. God multiplies and multiplies. To belittle is to be little. Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you. God answers all knee-mail. Try Jesus. If you don't like Him, the devil will always take you back. *** Watch next week's Funnies for a wonderful church marquee 'tool'.***
  While not quite done with this book, I've read enough to be comfortable recommending it. It is not a new book (few books I read are), but the principles are timeless. It has been updated since the first printing, and the author's subsequent passing, but the changes were mild making even even more relevant today and tomorrow. If you want to KNOW that what you are doing in business (including your personal business) is in alignment with the Bible, this is your tool. I have to admit, this book has pointed out some things
in my life
that needs to change. i don't like it, but nor do I
doubt that the
change is necessary.
 Until a few weeks ago, there was only one show on TV that I looked forward to watching. What makes that particularly funny is that I've only seen the whole show a couple times. But every Sunday at 9:00 a.m. (et) as I'm getting ready for church the TV is sure to be on Sunday Morning. Of course cartoon or departure for church always preempts my 'view enjoyment.' Oh sure, I could record it and watch it later, but that would require that I remember to record it, and also that I remember to watch it later. Both of which I find highly unlikely. For one thing, the only VCR is in the basement (for the kids' videos). And for another, the only time I can watch TV is when Angela and I are together that has two pitfalls of its own--Angela maintains tight control of the remote, and she doesn't care about Sunday Morning new show (that's now old news). I have no idea what it is about the show that love so much. Maybe it is the light yet interesting stories they share. Maybe it is the bright and engaged personalities of the reporters -- something missing on so many news shows today. Or maybe it is the mystic of the impossible. That is maybe I don't really like the show at all, I just like the idea of trying to accomplish the impossible--watching one whole episode without interruption. But whatever the reason, I was glad when i learned that CBS is nice enough to post the majority of the stories on their website. This allows me to watch the sections that piqued my interested during the introduction I faithfully watch host, Charles Osgood, deliver with practiced (yet still natural) style. So, in lieu of the 'real thing,' I rely on the conveniently "bookmarked" Sunday Morning page on CBS' website...enjoy. |
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email:
funnies@clmcgown.com
phone:
888-819-1760 ext.10
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| Don't forget to share the "Friday Funnies" with your friends and families ! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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