The tradition of 'holy howlers' popping up in religiously related documents continues undimmed.  Witness the following sampling of bona fide bloopers culled from various church bulletins and orders of service.
 

• The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind, and they can be seen in the church basement Friday afternoon
• On Sunday a special collection will be taken to defray the expense of the new carpet.   All those wishing to do something on the carpet will please come forward to get a piece of paper.
• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on Oct. 24 in the church.   So ends a friendship that began in school days.
• This week's saints include a French woman (Teresa, the Little Flower), a Swedish woman (Bridget), an Italian man (Francis of Assisi), a German man (Bruno), a Jewess from the Holy Land (Mary, God's Mother). They include single people and married people.  Bridget was a wife and bother.  Mary was a virgin and virgin mother.   If they could do it, so can we.
• This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north end of the church.   Children will be baptized at both ends.
• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
• The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
• The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
• This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Davis to come forward and lay an egg on the alter.

• The choir will be at Larsen house for fun and sinning.
• During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
• Will the ladies of the Willing Workers who have towels which belong to the kitchen please bring them to the church on Friday as we need them for supper?
• Wednesday, the Ladies Literary Society will meet. Mrs. Clark will sing, "Put Me in My Little Bed," accompanied by the pastor.
• Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.   The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."
• Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.
• Tuesday at 5:00 p.m. there will be an ice cream social.   All ladies giving milk, please come early.
• The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the men will start quietly, and the rest of the congregation will join in.
• Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"
• Today—Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m. – 8 p.m.   Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.
• The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300 th anniversary of his birth.
• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7:00 p.m.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
• The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a success.   Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
• 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening.   Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
• Smile at someone who is hard to love.  Say, "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
• A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
• Today's Sermon:  HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full choir.
• Hymn 43: "Great God, what do I see here?" – Preacher:   The Rev. Horance Blodgett – Hymn 47: "Hark! An awful voice has sounded"
• On a Church bulletin during the minister's illness:

GOD IS GOOD

Rev. Dr. Hargreaves is better

• Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
• Don't let worry kill you off – let the church help.

 And my favorite…

• Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club.   All wishing to become little mothers will please meet the minister in the study.