 |
 |  |
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Happy Birthday Friday Funnies! Thank you for opening the last issue (52) of Volume 1. It is hard to believe it has already been a year, yet it has. I would love to say that this is a special birthday issue, but alas it is not. Just the same ol', same ol'. None the less, Happy Birthday to, well, me...I guess.
The service station trade was
slow the owner sat around, With sharpened knife and cedar stick Piled shavings on the ground. No modern facilities had they, the log across the rill Led to a shack, marked His and Hers that sat against the hill. "Where is the ladies restroom, sir?" The owner leaning back, Said not a word but whittled on, and nodded toward the shack. With quickened step she entered there but only stayed a minute, Until she screamed, just like a snake or spider might be in it. With startled look and beet red face she bounded through the door, And headed quickly for the car just like three gals before. She missed the foot log - jumped the stream the owner gave a shout, As her silk stockings, down at her knees caught on a sassafras sprout. She tripped and fell - got up, and then in obvious disgust, Ran to the car, stepped on the gas, and faded in the dust. Of course we all desired to know what made the gals all do The things they did, and then we found the whittling owner knew. A speaking system he'd devised to make the thing complete, He tied a speaker on the wall beneath the toilet seat. He'd wait until the gals got set and then the devilish tike, Would stop his whittling long enough, to speak into the mike. "Please use the other hole, we're paintin' under here!"
"It is said that it is not polite to point at anyone in blame. The reason is that only one finger is pointing at them and there are three pointing back at you." ~ Turtle
This week's Wisdom from the Word is an except from my personal blog on MyChurch.org. It's part 3 of a 4 part series, so, you'll have to check out the blog itself to experience the other 3 parts. Enjoy! Life 1 a: the quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body b: a principle or force that is considered to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings c: an organismic state characterized by capacity for metabolism, growth, reaction to stimuli, and reproduction 2 a: the sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual b: one or more aspects of the process of living. Source I love the very first definition above. It captures the gift of Christ more clearly than a 1000 sermons. So, what is that "quality"? Christ, of course! In the King James Version (and a couple others) you can see the phrase: "walk in the newness of life," when talking about salvation. I love the image that paints in my head--the action of walking, and the idea of 'newness' evokes a perpetual 'new car smell.' Now and forever walking in a perpetually 'new' relationship with Christ. But, you can't ignore my 'go to' translation either. In it (the NIV) that same passage is translated as: "live a new life." This version perfectly captures the "do over" we find in the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. Not the "do over" of elementary school playgrounds, but a complete, no record, no memory, "as far as the east is from the west" do over. The kind ONLY God can provide. However, leave it to good ol' John to give us the passage that puts the finest point on this topic. The Gospel of John has hands down the best opening lines of any. In John 1:4, we find: "In him [Christ Jesus] was life, and that life was the light of men." In those 39 letters, we find the basis for an entire religion, the key to an eternity of reward. In those 12 little words--none longer than five letters--we find a path for living, the foundation of existence, and the hope of our future. So much is said with so little. "The quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body." "Vital" = Acceptance of Christ | "Dead" = Rejection of Christ. Christ is quality, Christ is light, Christ is life.
   Best Seller is
one of those movies that is hard to categorize, but I think I would try
to stick it in "Thriller/Cop" with a bend toward "shoot'em
up". Add to that the psycho character James Woods
plays, I find a movie that interests me from beginning to end.  Running Scared is
a movie that makes me laugh just thinking about it. Even as I
type this, scenes flash in my mind and I chuckle, or I hear dialog and
laugh out loud--the folks at the coffee shop look strangely at me. If you've never seen either of these, I would say they are well worth your time. Yes, their older, but they are already classics in my mind.
 I've always had a problem with the theory of evolution being taught as one of the laws of science. But then, I've also had problems with the laws of science. Lest we forget that this is the same 'group' that tortured and killed people for suggesting the earth revolved around the sun. Heck, they can't even tell me if an egg is good or bad for me. Yet, they want to me accept that I came from an ape. I don't think so. Of course, the biggest hole to this theory in my mind is IF we accept the (ludicrous) suggestion that the earth was formed from the 'big bang', THEN where did that come from? And where did that source come from? And where did that source come from? If "matter can be neither created nor destroyed," how did it originally get there? It just doesn't make sense. Yet, we continue to force feed this senseless crap to our citizenry in the name of science, or even worse in the misguided belief in the separation of Church and State. Maybe this week's Proposed Point (and Click) will help you either see the other side, or consider new points-of-view, or better defend your belief. I heard about this site while 'scanning' through the radio frequencies on some road trip. I have enjoyed the site. To be fair, I'm not in complete agreement with everything it espouses or promotes, but I still like to hear different sides to a topic....and at times ICR's side is certainly different. Regardless of your point-of-view, this site is worthy of a few minutes investigation and exploration. Take this opportunity "to go where no [Darwinian] has gone before." | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| email:
funnies@clmcgown.com
phone:
888-819-1760 ext.10
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Don't forget to share the "Friday Funnies" with your friends and families ! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |  |
