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It's official, Christmas is here. I ventured out the afternoon of "black Friday" and saw what the world calls Christmas shopping and I was scared. I think I will continue to leave such things to my wife and the internet. Happy Friday....
Historic One-liners, short jokes,
and points to ponder.
I tried to build a dog house, but I only had enough dogs to build 3 walls. How do you write zero in Roman numerals? If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs? Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra? I got tired of treasure hunting, so I sat down on a big chest on top of a giant "X". How many weeks are there in a light year? A policeman pulled me over and said, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" I said, "You should really ask a psychic!" Light travels faster than sound, that's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. How does a bass player make his car go faster? He takes the Domino's Pizza sign off the top. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. The things that come to those who wait are actually the things that were left by those who got there first! Can bald people get a hairline fracture? Mistakes are made from time to time. Without them, some of us would have never been born! If you get mono twice, isn't that stereo? My frosted flakes melted in the summer. I slept through the alarm this morning. Good thing it was only a small fire. A cheetah clone was found slain at the city zoo. Police suspect a copycat killer. I know what people are thinking as soon as I tell them that I'm psychic. If we ever figure out how to preserve people, we'll really be in a jam. Doctor: "I have good news and bad news." Patient: "What's the good news?" Doctor: "You have 24 hours to live." Patient: "What's the bad news?" Doctor: "I should have called you yesterday!" If you're on a cruise, you're with newlyweds, over-feds and nearly deads! How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she brings it to you. Patient: "Doc, you have to help me. Some days I think I'm Mickey Mouse, some days I think I'm Donald Duck" Doctor: "How long have you had these Disney spells?" I'm a big sports fan. I keep the athletes cool while they're playing. Did you hear about the two maggots making love in dead Earnest?
"If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the up button." -- Anonymous
 Christ is Alive!For reason's I cannot explain, when Christmas approaches my mind settles on the Easter Story (and vice versa). We have entered into the Christmas season, so my mind is starting to meditate upon the last week of Christ's life, but specifically that wonderful "third day" and the empty tomb it reveals. It might be for that very reason that an article I read last week really stood out to me. It was a debate of sorts about the rationale of the Christian faith being based on "some guy coming back to life." There are so many problems with this debate, I don't think I could name them all. But to start with, you can't rationalize faith; Jesus was not "some guy", but the Son of God; and most importantly Christian faith is not based on Resurrection. I know that sounds blasphemous, but its true. Oh, I know we talk about it all the time, Christ's resurrection is a predominate theme through the New Testament; but really the resurrection alone isn't all that special. Jesus raised people from the dead, the disciples raised people from the dead, we have been promised the power to raise people from the dead; heck, when Christ arose he brought with him "many Holy people". No, it isn't the resurrection but the man (and God) who was resurrected. More importantly, it isn't that Christ came back to life after three days dead, rather that He is alive. Not was, but is. My faith in not based on "some guy", but on faith that God Himself came down to earth in the person of Jesus Christ. As Jesus he willingly offered Himself as the full and complete sacrifice for MY sins. In that offering and that alone allows me a personal relationship with Him. It isn't logical, if it were logical, it wouldn't be faith. It's Christmas time, and [sing along] "He Lives, He Lives, Christ Jesus lives today..."
  Thanksgiving has
past, that means it is officially Christmas time. With that
comes Christmas movies, there are the usual suspects: A
Christmas Story
 , Frosty
the Snowman , It's
a Wonderful Life , or A
Charlie Brown Christmas . But my favorite is National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation  .
For a good time and a family
tradition you just can't beat Chevy Chase's wit and excellent delivery
in this installment of a Christmas Classic.
Just when I thought my ego couldn't possibly get any bigger, I found out I could be a Scottish Landholder--a Laird. That's right, for one small price, I can get contractual rights (means, there is not properly tax issues) to a piece of a Scottish Hunt Farm. I can even visit my square of property, stay on the B & B farm, and even go for a hunt. While my ego certainly didn't need this kind of reinforcement, I can't speak for yours. While I have not yet purchased my parcel of land, I'm sure to do so soon. What's better, I can even pass on this proper title and "property ownership" on to my children. |
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