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Once again, I find myself finishing this week's issue much too late. Way behind schedule, (about two weeks behind). Please, please, please forgive this brief introduction. However, I assume you didn't subscribe to Friday Funnies, for this part anyway. Enjoy....
To work at Starbucks, should you have graduated Magna Cum Latte? Man: "Doctor, I think I'm a dog." Psychiatrist: "Mmmm. Interesting. Please lie down on the couch." Man: "I'm not allowed on the couch!" I videotape my children a lot - because I think they're stealing from us. Never moon a werewolf. Why can't a pony sing? Because it's a little horse. What do you get when you bake beans and onions together? Tear gas. A blind man was calling an end to his relationship with his girlfriend. "I'm sorry, I can't see you anymore." Can cross-eyed teachers control their pupils? Is Visine.com a site for sore eyes? I've told you a million times not to exaggerate! One time when my son was 3 years old, I took him shopping. When we got home, he had a candy bar in his pocket. I didn't buy it, and he certainly didn't buy it, so we marched back to the mall - and we went to the jewelry store. When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty. In high school, my school team was the "Fighting Indians". The mascot would dance around before each game. All of our games were rained out. Don't go knocking on heaven's door. Ring the doorbell and run, he hates that! Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. I love kids! Let's exchange recipes. In high school, I was in the French club. All we would do is occasionally surrender to the German club. A cemetery raised its burial cost and blamed it on the cost of living. When I was younger, I used to play doctor with this girl in my neighborhood. We got caught, but I'm lucky it was on a Wednesday. We were just playing golf. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. Are board games supposed to make you bored? If you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them. The things that come to those who wait are the things left by those who got there first. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. The way to a man's heart is to saw his breastplate open. Why shouldn't you play poker in the savannah? There might be a cheetah. I'm wondering if you're only as old as you feel, how could I be alive at 150? Duct tape is like "the force". It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. I'm usually interested in going home before I get to where I'm going. I'm awake many hours before my body allows me to get up. Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself. To err is human, to moo bovine. You can say anything foolish to a dog and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God! You're right! I would have never thought of that!"
"No eulogy is due to him who simply does his duty and nothing more."
Featured Passage: For in him we live and move and
have our being. As some of your own poets have said, 'We are his offspring.' -- Acts 17:28 (NIV) There have been times in my life when I doubt that I'm important to God. I mean, come on, after all there are tens of millions of Christians. How can just one person -- I -- make a difference to God? That happens most often when I'm trying to rationalize God and/or Christianity. I'm (eternally) thankful that it is at those times that Scripture is so powerfully present in my mind. When I try to confine God within my human limitations, my soul screams: "He knows the number of hair on your head!" or "You are a child of God, just like Christ!" My heart shouts: "You are part of the family, though be it a family of millions." Inevitably, I will waver again, once again trying to apply the logic God has given me to the very Creator of that logic. (Now, how logical is that?) But then my soul will moan: "God knew you before HE formed you." From time to time, I have to be reminded at when I am living in His perfect Will that He is proud of me. In fact, when my life acknowledges that He is God, it delights Him. When I finally come back around, and remember and acknowledge that God delights in me much more than I could ever delight in Him, I know that I am important to God. Thank you God for filling my mind with your Word when that same mind wants to question.
  OK, OK, I know it is a bit strange. But I've got to tell you this Josh Groban guy can really sing Christmas songs. My sister-in-law has loved (or been in love with) him since his first hit. I've heard his music on the radio and have never really been all that impressed--until Noel. I heard one of the songs on the radio, and had to hear more. Mr. Groban's voice seems to fit the classics perfectly. Speaking of the 'classics', he sticks to the classics for this album--sometimes the real classics (read: Panis Angelicus). When I was putting this part together late Thursday night, I notices Noel (insert text HTML here again) was on sale at 50% off. If you haven't heard any of them, you can follow the links to hear short snibbits of each track on Amazon's site. 
 I have the pleasure of frequenting Johnson City, Tennessee. Very near the big JC, is the oldest town in Tennessee (predating Tennessee), Jonesborough. I always know I'm almost to my destination when I see the exit for Jonesborough. While the town of Jonesborough is worthy of visiting for many reasons--other than its historical position as the State Capital of the State of Franklin. Its big draw today is the International Storytelling Center. I love storytelling. I love the art of a good story. It IS an art. And while the ISC and the International Storytelling Festival (also held in Jonesborough) are wonderful, the real topic of this section is a not-for-profit called The Moth. There seems to be no limit to what a story could be about, what it could be titled (Right now, I'm listening to Ari Handel's "Don't Fall in Love With Your Monkey"). This repository of some of the best stories and storytellers is a source regular entertainment for me. If you like stories--funny, sad, stirring, angering, and every other emotion in the rainbow of life--then you need to visit www.themoth.org. I subscribe to the podcast, so I can get the best of The Moth, and carry them with me. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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