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Everybody, sing with me...."It's the most wonderful time, to shop online. The drivers are crazy, and parking is 'mazing, but surfing if great. I can shop anytime, what I'm wearing is just fine, it the most wonderful time to shop on-line." OK, I may not have a future in lyrics, the sentiment is there. Even on weekdays, during the day, stores and shoppers are horrible. It doesn't take long before I become one of them. I'm SOOOOOOO glad my wife does the majority of the shopping. I'm also glad that what I do, I can do most of it on-line. Again, everybody, sing with me..."It's the most....."
I have spent my life around musicians, for the most part I'm better for it, but from time-to-time, they have to be reminded that the world can (and will) go on without them. In that spirit, I dedicate this week's Featured Funny to the musicians of the world.... --------------------
A flutist walks into a library
and says: "Hi I'll have a burger,fries, and a large coke." The
librarian responds: Sshhhh....do you know where you are? This is a
library!" The drummer, sheepishly, and in a whisper says:
"Sorry....I'll have a burger, fries and a large coke." --------------------
Two men, sentenced to die in
the electric chair on the same day, were led down to the room in which
they would meet their maker. The priest had given them last rites, the
formal speech had been given by the warden, and a final prayer had been
said among the participants. The Warden, turning to the first man (a
trombonist), solemnly asked, "Son, do you have a last request?"To which the trombonist replied, "Yes sir, I do. I love dance music. Could you please play The Macarena for me one last time?" "Certainly," replied the warden. He turned to the other man and asked, "Well, what about you, son? What is your final request?" "Please," said the condemned man, "kill me first." --------------------
A second violinist commented at
lunch that it was such a shame that the spice girls couldn't stay
together considering they are sisters and all. There was silence for a
bit, then someone told her that they weren't sisters. She said, " Of
course they are, they have the same last name." She Has unofficially
been named "Dumb Spice" --------------------
A percussionist buys a ticket
and wins the lottery. He goes to the lottery office to claim it and the
man verifies his ticket number. The percussionist says, "I want my $20
million."The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years." The percussionist said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explain that he would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The percussionist, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"
"Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done."--Amelia Earhart
In Isaiah 64:8, we find this passage
(NIV):
"Yet, O LORD, you are our Father.
We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand." There is really nothing that needs to be added. Just read and reread that passage. As you go through the Bible using different translations, you will find the emphasis of many passages change with the translations. However, this passage's message remains consistent. In fact, throughout nine translations you will see that not only does the emphasis remain consistent, for the most part so do the words--even the Peterson's wacky Message leaves it fairly intact. Read it again, and plant the words in your heart...they will bloom.
  There has never been a comic strip I associate with more strongly the the (not so) dynamic duo, Calvin and Hobbes. Several years ago the author retired--lazy bum--a few years ago the complete boxed set of C&H was put onto the market. Since that day I have looked at it. I want it, but really know that I would never use it. I get C&H 'reruns' everyday on my google desktop (courtesy of gocomics.com). I don't have time to read those things I really want to read, so while this would be nice, it would be a waste. But that's for me, for you, it may be the perfect gift. It may be just what you wanted, and you can forward this e-mail on to that special someone who was wondering what to get you In any even, C&H will live on in my heart, on my google desktop, and on the pages of the Complete Collection. 
With Christmas "stuff" all around, I couldn't avoid it even if I wanted
to. The often unsung hero of Christmas are the elfs
of Santa's sweatshop, er...ah, workshop.
But now, that too has passed. My cousin Armida forwarded me a link that allows you to pay tribute to these tireless workers: www.elfyourself.com.  On that site, you can upload your own photo, or any of your choosing. You can even call a toll-free number and record your own greeting--which is converted to an elfin dialect. I toyed around with putting the photo of several different folks, but my ego got the better of me, so here's mine.  But, if that is just too much jolly for you, from there you can also slide over to www.scroogeyourself.com. Where you can create yourself in the image of (not so) good ol' Mr. Scrooge. Unfortunately, I didn't see a place to record my own greetings for that one...I had a doozie of a message for all you whipper-snappers. But still, I did create my own McScrooge. |
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