In my world, it is review time.    As I started to fill out my Annual Employee Evaluations, I started thinking about some of the different comments my supervisors have made on my evaluations.    When I did I realized that this old piece would be the perfect thing to send out as this week's Featured Funny.
 
Of course, I don't vouch for how real these comments are, regardless of the opening lines.    They are, however, funny all the same. So, without further ado...
 
These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee evaluations in a large US Corporation.

Employee Evaluation Quotes:

(1) "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom...and has started to dig."

(2) "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

(3) "I would not allow this employee to breed."

(4) "This employee is really not so much of a 'has-been,' but more of a definite 'won't be.'"

(5) "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

(6) "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

(7) "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

(8) "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

(9) "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

(10) "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

(11) "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

(12) "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

(13) "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

(14) "He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless."

(15) "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

(16) "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

(17) "He's been working with glue too much."

(18) "He would argue with a signpost."

(19) "He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

(20) "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

(21) "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

(22) "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

(23) "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

(24) "A prime candidate for natural deselection."

(25) "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

(26) "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

(27) "Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

(28) "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

(29) "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

(30) "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans."

(31) "It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."

(32) "One neuron short of a synapse."

(33) "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

(34) "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes." 

While Paul once again ventures into the what was, even in his time, very controversial waters; he manages to stay with his main task--to admonish yet encourage the church in Colosse.   Unknown to him, this would be one of the letters studied, debated, deliberated, quoted, and preached for any number of purposes.   Oddly enough, Paul's writings were quoted as source during both the U.S.'s constitutional convention and the infamous debates leading up to the civil war.    The verses just before this (along with others attributed to Paul) would be referenced (from both sides of the issues) during the 1960's and 70's marches on Washington D.C., and from the streets of Johannesburg during the protests of Apartheid.
 
However, I have not pulled it out because of anything like that, but rather because it so closely resembles some of the most troubling words we have recorded of Jesus: "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's" Matthew 22:21b.   This is often seen as simply a passage related to money, but I'm not sure that is accurate.  Jesus is not known for His direct answers...in fact, quite the opposite.  Don't get me wrong, I think Matthew 22:21 most certainly applies to taxes and the need to support the earthly governments; I just don't think it stops there.  Rather, I think this passage can be (or should be) matched to several others of Jesus' and the other aposals--including those in Colossians 3:23.
 
When you do, you will see a more complete picture.  One giving a clear, consistent, and persistent message to be the best person you can be on earth as part of your culture.   There seems to be a silent acknowledgment that some cultures and customs are not kosher (figuratively and literally), or at least do not square with another's view of right and wrong.   For example we can read the Bible through today's eyes and feel disgusted by the perceived failure of the early church to totally obliterate slavery.   Of course, the same can be said for our Founding Fathers some 1787 (not exact, but you get the point) years later.   However, we cannot look at the culture and times from the Bible with the same social morays we have today--it just doesn't work.   Biblical Truths are timeless and perfect; they are also few.  The vast majority of what is looked upon as sin is based on social view (interpretation) of the Bible; not the the Bible itself.
 
Please do not take this to mean that God excuses offensive behavior just because "everyone is doing it".   We are called to be separate and to live lives that testify to God's Grace.   This can't be done today surfing the net for free porn (because everyone is doing it--hey, its free how bad can it be, right?) while listening to the latest top 40 hit.   I'm simply saying that, well... 

We must live our lives the best way we can.   We cannot look to man for justification, approval, or admonishment--we will surely be disappointed or led astray.   We can only look to God.   That is, do all that we do for God and God alone.  And to strive to do so unfailingly...without concerns about earthly rewards or rebukes.  He is, after all, watching what we do and will call us to account for it.
 
I have been told by many people that my beliefs are non-traditional beliefs.   I'm not sure if that is supposed to be an insult or not, but I tend to take it as a compliment.    I have been looking for a way express my views in a non-combative way.   I have decided that the rage of our century has given me the opportunity I was looking for--a blog.  
 
For more of the "non-traditional" views I want to explore and expand, visit my blog "Controversial Christianity" at http://controversialchristianity.blogspot.com/ .
 
I will do my best to make future editions of this section more "main stream" and leave the more 'non-traditional' views to those who wish to take the extra steps to read them and agree or challenge me on my blog.